Since about August, I knew the day that Legend was going to be born. I had the option of going for a natural birth or a c-section since I had one with Zakiyah, and I chose to go with a scheduled repeat c-section for a few reasons, the main one being that I never dilated enough and Zakiyah never dropped down low enough to make it into the birth canal (I don’t have those baby bearing hips lol), and I did not want to go through that again.
So, for that reason, I don’t have a crazy “I went into labor during 5’oclock rush hour and gave birth in the back of a car” kind of story. It’s more of a mellow, laid back, “I know what I’m going into” story, so here it goes.
The night before I was to go in for my c-section, I actually got some sleep. I was surprised. I thought I wasn’t sleep a second from me being so nervous. I don’t do too well with doctors or needles, especially surgery. So I woke up to my alarm at 5:15am. I got myself ready, then woke up Zakiyah and Zac to get ready to go to the hospital. The whole time I was fighting back the tears. I’m still not sure why I wanted to cry. Maybe I was scared of the surgery, maybe I was a little sad that this pregnancy was (finally) over, maybe I was scared shitless of being a mom to two kids now and not only Zakiyah. Looking back, I think it was a mixture of these worries, but I am so lucky to have Zac by my side the whole time to keep me calm.
We arrived at the hospital and got checked in. When the nurse started to put the IV in my arm, my blood pressure dropped super low and I felt like I was about to pass out. They lost his heart beat for a minute or so and my mom had to rush out of the room with Zakiyah while the nurses got everything under control. This had to have been the scariest moment of my life. Like I said above, I do not do well with needles, so I think I just psyched myself out and had a little episode, which Legend clearly did not like!
As soon as they found his heartbeat again, I was calm. I almost felt like I could fall asleep. Time was going by so slowly, but honestly, before I knew it, it was time. I walked into the OR with Zac where the anesthesiologist administered the spinal tap…. TWICE because the first time didn’t take very well. Good thing it didn’t hurt at all though, at this point all I could think about was Legend. Next thing I knew, I was lying down with the drape covering my torso and the doctors were starting the surgery. I knew when they were about to pull him out because I’ve had that feeling before, and like with Zakiyah, I starting crying tears of joy when I heard that little tiny, brand new baby scream.
After they cleaned him up, weighed him (8lbs 11oz!!!) and checked his vitals, I finally got to hold my sweet baby boy and all my fears from that morning were gone. I was instantly calm again and nothing could bother me. All I could think about was seeing my princess girl and having her meet her baby brother!
Having two kids is the hardest job I’ve ever had. It’s messy, exhausting, stressful, there are plenty of moments I just want to hide in my closet and cry. But it’s also the most rewarding, sweet, heart filling, and happiest parts of my life. I really love the age gap between my two though (5 years) because Zakiyah is old enough to pretty much care for herself and she loves to help with Legend! She’s super independent and that helps a ton.
So, if you all don’t mind, I’m going to start sharing my “mom” side a lot more since it is such a big part of my life.